Rusty's Blog

It’s not about sex, not about money. It’s about reality. First of all, I don’t care how beautiful you think a given woman is. Her beauty is not going to specifically help you, and may very well be a significant hinderance to you.

OK, First up, all women are first of all ‘People.’ Just like you are. Why is this important? Because now you can start considering how your behaviour may be affecting her.

We all worry about some factor of our appearance. Anything from ‘hat hair’ to our skin condition, to the color of our cars. We nearly all make some decision about what we wear today, on some personal concept of style. It may be flawed, guys on average tend to be more likely to be color blind and thus choose some combinations poorly, or ideal (rare indead) but it does say something about our view of ourselves. All women are doing some of the same things. In fact on average women are more concerned about their own appearance than guys are, but if you start with something that you probably do care about the appearance of, this will make more sense over all.

I’m going to presume that you have a bicycle, motorcycle or motor vehicle of some type. Whether you spend a lot of time on it’s appearance or not, you do notice the attention it gets. If someone seems to turn up their nose at your car, that probably means something to you. If someone seems to take no notice of your bike, then that means they don’t se themselves as someone who would be excited to go riding as well.

‘Normal’ levels of attention is something like a compliment about the color, or style. And an enthusiast may spend some time talking with you about the engine size, highway performance, who did the paint job and so on.

At the other end of the spectrum are the people you start to get concerned about. Perhaps all they can seem to talk about is the rims, or they are overly complementary about the paint job. Beyond that are the people who just sit and stare. You might even get concerned about the safety of the vehicle, because that person just doesn’t seem to be able to leave the subject alone.

That’s the end you might want to start thinking about, and deciding if you are emulating. First of all if a woman is in the group of people that is considered Beautiful by the public at large, she will appreciate the recognition, in moderation. Think about it. While more than 95% of the people on earth may not care about her one way or the other, the remaining 5% are probably all around her. It’s likely that she has heard nearly every pickup line known to man, and a few known only to women And one thing she knows is that people will try to compliment her in an effort to get indimate with her.

She doesn’t mind that people think she’s attractive, it’s the fact that altogether too many people think that the only thing she is happens to be ‘attractive.’ Being attractive is likely to bring a variety of benifits, but the constant attention eventually gets dull and boring. And after some period of time is even annoying. Yes she wants to know that you think she’s attractive, but that’s anything but the most important thing you can do. In most cases you being currious about what she is doing and why, will do more to improve your stature with her than having the sweetest car ro Bike, or having a Million in the bank, or being cut like Atlas.

Are there exceptions? Sure. There are women who won’t take a second look at a guy who doesn’t have a huge bulge in his pants when he is sitting back relaxed. There are women who won’t talk to a guy who doesn’t have a 6 figure job and an 11 figure checking account. And there are women who want nothing more than continuous complements from addoring fan boys.

If you want one of those women, you know what she’s looking for. Go get in that group. And good luck to you.

That is the exception. Women are not (usually) objects. They are not ‘things’ or ‘things to be possesed.’ (usually) The vast majorety of women are excited about something in their lives other than their appearance, and are far more interested in being recognized for that, than just about anything else in life. Women are ‘people’ And just like people everywhere, they are far more than they appear. If you don’t recognize and respond to that, she will treat you as nothing more than you appear to her as. Which is either annoying, or possibly dangerous. And in all likelyhood, isn’t very favorable to you.

Go, say Hello, introduce yourself, and ask what she likes about what she is doing. It’s likely to get you a lot further than any ‘pickup line’ you can come up with. Might you get ‘put down’ for the approach? Sure. So what. Now you knwo something more about her, and if all that is, happens to be that she’s not interested in you, That’s OK too. For that matter she may be more interested in what your response is than anything else. If it’s clear from her response that she’s not challenging you, (or you think it is) say ‘Well have fun with that.’ and move on. If it appears to be a challenge, and you feel up to it, go for it. If you spotted her doing knitting or needle point, and asked what she liked about what she was doing, and her response was something like “Stitching the names of those about to die. How do you spell your name?” an appropriate response might be ‘D-e-a-d–m-a-n–w-a-l-k-i-n-g, but I’m not planning on telling the guy operating the guilotine that the slot for the blade needs to be greased, until after I’ve been pardoned. Oh, and you’ve dropped a stitch there…’ <wink>. or ‘I’ve replaced all the gun powder with black pepper. I’ll escape while there sneezing.” and so on. If you include the ‘dropped a stitch’ line, then hopefully after she’s lightened up a bit, say “seriously, I don’t know the first thing about embroidery, (knitting, or whatever it is she is doing) but I do like to know ‘why’ people do things they find interesting. What makes this interesting to you?” In short you may not be someone who shares her specific interest, but you’re interested in her, in ways beyond her appearance.

If all a woman was interested in talking about with you was your car, and the conversation never got to other interesting subjects, you would loose interest before too long. Most women are pretty much the same way. Men and women all have diverse interests, and if we can share more than one interest, that makes each of us a bit more interesting.

And believe me, we all want interesting.